21 June 2009

Protect and Survive: GPs told to plant trees

Dr Grumble's GP tells him that she is being advised by the Department of Health to plant trees. Trees are apparently going to prevent her patients from suffering from the effects of global warming. They are so important that the Department of Health even advises planting trees on the top of multi-storey car parks. You wouldn't think there would be enough soil for trees on the top of a multi-storey. Perhaps they will be in pots. In which case somebody is going to have to water them.

Dr Grumble found all this hard to believe but he has found a few pictures of trees on the tops of car parks and he has also found the original Department of Health document (pdf) recommending this.

This solution to global warming is slightly reminiscent of the Protect and Survive advice Dr Grumble's generation used to be given on how to survive a nuclear war. This booklet was so daft Dr Grumble thought it must have dated back to the 50s or 60s. Amazingly, a quick check on Wilipedia shows that it was published in 1980.


Julie McAnulty said...

Personally I think they should put all the trees in a tree museum and charge people a dollar and half to see them...;)

Anonymous said...

Don't know how planting a few trees in parking lots will help. Might want to look into 'green rooves' - essentially putting a garden on top of a building. Apparently, the building is cooler in summer and warmer in winter, and thera are all those nice C02 loving plants up there.

Dunploddin said...

In the early 70's students at Hendon Police Training School were lectured on 'War Duties' by two characters known as Nuclear Ned and Roentgen Ron. We were issued with a little booklet on our duties and told that in the event of nuclear attack we should whitewash our windows and fill our baths with drinking water and cover them with an old door before reporting for duty. We were then told how many Russian warheads would be dropped on central London, their size and the exact (to the yard) targets. As I was living in Chelsea at the time I enquired as to the scale of damage that could be expected, we were gleefully told of a crater several miles across and half a mile deep. My observation that it might render my efforts with the whitewash somewhat futile earnt me a week of jankers which I used to make alternative plans for survival!

I suspect the 'plant a tree on a multi storey car park' instruction comes from the decendants of Ned and Ron.

Dr Grumble said...

Quick. We need to plant trees now.